Time Machine

Here lately, I've been more and more wishing for a time machine.

Ridiculously complicated tax forms, NASDAQ, hoards of vehicles choking streets to standstills, Facebook, the gigantic ugly brown cloud layering the entire front range, smartphones that are way too smart, pathetic politicians, cumbersome controls on dish or cable boxes, twitter, Google, fracking, 529's, touchscreen computers, viagra, IRA's, farmers planting crops without using a steering wheel as GPS takes control of the tractor to perfectly plant fields, S&P 500, devo, butt-tucks, smart cars, Instagram, Googlemaps, drones, smart TV's, 401's, Vimeo, arguing with Siri, geo-mapping, fingerprint and retinal recognition, On-Star...blah blah blah.

The list goes on and on and it's almost scary what is yet to come. But, in my simple lifestyle, all that stuff complicates life. Senses suffer from the nonstop bombardament of stimuli and brains are zapped processing the overwhelming influx of data.

With such crazy advancements in technology, I hunger for that time machine. I'll sprint to be first in line and be the guinea pig to jump back in time. Although my youth was really good, my destiny isn't to return there, but to rewind further back where life was simple, fulfilling and ended too soon.

I envision the time machine to be a cube of super-thick glass. When it fires up to vaporize me to the past, it'll flicker and strobe like lightning dancing in a bottle.

"But, you won't have the conveniences of modern technology?"  I don't care...most of these conveniences encourage laziness and promote sedentary lifestyles. The initial remote control that grabbed the market by storm to change channels on the TV from the seated position was a huge contributor to the lack of burning calories. Now, the mere thought of getting up to manually flip a dial to change channels is too big of a chore to even imagine for most people. Sitting and pushing a button to scroll through hundreds of channels is much more accommodating.

No gasoline engines, no telephones, no TV's and buying a stein of beer with the simple flip of a crudely made silver coin appeals to me more and more as the hustle and bustle of modern day living encroaches on my old fashioned personality. Activities such as forging red-hot steel with anvil, hammer and tongs or intricately stacking a comforting winter's supply of firewood provides an intimacy in life that is not replicated in today's world of nonstop conveniences.

"But, you would miss modern day medicine."  Not really. Back then people did not know any better.  Penicillin had yet to be invented and those old timers quizzically wondered how bad infections could be cured.  It's like today having no cure for cancer.  That horrid condition will be someday be permanently defeated by advancing medicine where people in the future will look back at us, pitifully, and shake their heads in disbelief that we somehow existed without a cure.

"But, you would not have the luxury of today's surgical procedures."  Touche'.  Up until my Achilles surgery, I could have replied with another, "Who cares."  But, the thought of biting on a stick while a barbarian doctor hacks open my heel with a dull and rusty blade that was sterilized over an open flame is not appealing...at all!

So, I guess I'm selfish in that I want the best of both worlds.  I would thrive and love being time warped back to the past and experiencing the genuine wonders that I've always felt were short-lived. And, with the magical time machine, I would flash forward for medical necessities to only immediatley flash back to the past when I'm fixed.

Soon, I hope, there'll be an app for that!