Thursday, May 1, 2014

Moustache Unplugged #11

Hehehe...undetected, I take the opportunity to write a letter...

Dear Litterbugs,

I find it utterly remarkable, and incredibly outrageous, that you simply pitch trash onto the ground or toss it out of a car window without an inkling of guilt. What is wrong with you?

How strenuous is it to properly deposit litter in a trash can?  Is the burden so great that casting rubbish in the envornonmt is a relief from overwhelming exertion?

While on a short hike on a mountain trail, I was offended with the sheer pathetic laziness of people and photographed my findings for this Moustache documentary.

Sunlight reflected off this can that was thrown over the edge of the trail. I like a beer, but not while on a hike.  And, how tacky to finish it off and simply chuck it down the mountainside.  I'm going to post a No Trespassing sign where dipshits are prohibited from using the park and demand the sign to be strictly enforced.

Are you @#$%ing kidding me?!  Smoke cigarettes, go ahead, one right after another. Inhale long and deep to ensure the lining of your lungs are thickly coated with that sooty shit. Early death will be your reward.  To suck a cigarette down to the butt is your choice, but to then drop it on the ground as if you have the right makes my whiskers twitch.  Is it far too heavy for your smoke-encrusted lungs to pack out?  I'm willing to bet you had room in a pocket, but you elected to leave your mark on the trail. But don't worry, I picked the nasty thing up and carried it out...and then had to wash my jacket since it reeked of your habit. My previously mentioned sign would apply to these litterbugs as well.

This empty Gu gel package hopefully fell out on accident. It's commonly used by athletes as a compact energy supplement and, yes, some manly men bite off a corner and swallow the contents and simply throw the package on the ground in order to save .00002 seconds from their amateur efforts.  I'm hoping it was not purposefully discarded, but the problem is the packaging is not biodegradable, so I threw it in a pocket with the cigarett butt.

How'd this get way up here?  A safety ring from the lid on a gallon of milk?  Regardless, it'd take about 800 years for this ring of plastic to breakdown, so I tossed it in my trash pocket, too.

And this?  A plastic knife? C'mon!  That isn't something that accidentally falls out of a picnic basket.

Now a sandwich bag...

And cling wrap???  Maybe my sign at the trail head needs to prohibit food carried by dipshits.

And, this is the ultimate kicker.  Thank you for bagging up your dog's pile of poop. But why can't you finish the effort by carrying the load out to the trash can?  Too heavy? Smell too bad? Remind you too much of what your livingroom smells like? Waiting for your momma to clean things up?  Don't worry, I carried several bags out and managed to keep a straight face as other hikers gave me double-takes as if I was the one with some sort of digestive issue up on the trail.

The best part of the hike was that after finding the initial beer can, I smashed and left it on the trail to pick it up on my way out.  Secretly, I was testing to see if there was another trail user who would demonstrate the respect to nature I feel is owed.  Upon my return, it was gone.  Thank you!

To the rest of you, do better!

"Leave no trace" is the motto in our National Parks.  Try to adopt the philosophy in everyday life...the world would appreciate it and so will future generations.

Thanks for listening,
The Moustache

1 comment:

  1. It would appear that the Moustache is looking for early Christmas presents. I believe the order includes contractor drum liner trash bags, a trash picker upper with movable claw, and high viz orange safety vest.