The Beer Relay

"Seriously? A trail run relay that actually deducts time, like a reward, for drinking beer?" I wrinkled my brow. Obviously, I misunderstood something or my buddy was playing a cruel joke.

"Yup! True story. So do you want to do it?" Neil repeated and appeared totally serious.

"Heck ya!"

The Oskar Blues Brewery out of Longmont combined with Adventure Fit to proclaim hosting Colorado's first ever trail running and beer drinking event. The small town of Lyons that suffered severe flood damage from the fall rains of 2013 provided the venue and we were seduced. But, we had a major problem. Our relay was a dismal team of two.  Since the course was a 5k trail run, which included one beer per lap, our lack of teammates meant the only rest was when the other was out running....and, I almost forgot, the event lasted six hours.

Surely gregarious Neil had loads of friends who would join us for a larger relay team?  Nope.  Fortunately, on a complete whim texting a friend about the upcoming potential of a Triple Crown winner with American Pharoah at the Belmont Stakes, Michelle joined our team. Bless you Michelle!

While at the event (and in my absence), my team held a vote where I was elected to start the race. Conspirators! So, there I was standing in the corral with a chilled can of beer in hand. Despite it being an event to experience, my eyes glanced around at other runners while my finger was poised under the tab in preparation to ppfffftttt and chug. A prolonged start wore a deep groove in my fingertip from the tab as I crouched upon hearing "3, 2,1, Go!" A large hiss erupted with the collective opening of cans.

With flashbacks of college, I drained the can in one steady motion and tipped it upside down to prove to the judge it was empty as I left the corral with the top 5 runners.  As I ran, I immediately lost count of what happened the most--burps or getting passed by lots of runners??? Lead runners wore skimpy silk shorts, weighed maybe a whopping 130 pounds and moved like gazelles. The course had a slight incline as it zigzagged through hay fields until it dumped us on the bank of an irrigation canal.  Being nearly level, it allowed a slight reprieve until the course made an abrupt turn, uphill.

Like many small towns in America where a nearby high point hosts the first letter of the town's name, we climbed and climbed towards the white letter "L".  Upon reaching the "L" way up on the ridge, the course wiggled back down through rocks and brush and eventually spit out on a short jaunt on pavement.  After passing several houses, trail conditions returned with some downhill towards the start/finish line.

Happily, I handed the "baton" (a card dangling on a lanyard containing the timing chip) to Neil and it was his turn to chug and run.  I rested and soon it was Michelle's turn. Way too soon, she rounded the corner and was handing the baton back to me. 

Domes resembling basketballs cut in half, were on the ground in a grid pattern. Runners had to play hopscotch across them to prove to officials enough sobriety for another lap. After tap dancing across them, another can was grabbed and consumed. Off for lap two. The sun was out and soon after the burps ended, the beer also felt burned out of my body. On the descent from the "L", a sneaky rock concealed under a low leafy branch giggled as it watched my moustache slam and groom the trail.  After calling the rock all kinds of super vulgar names, I gimped along with an injured foot reciting, "It'll go away...it'll go away...". (Not sure what the damage was, but the following day my poor foot resembled a bruised marshmallow with toes banded in purple.) It was good to finish lap two and get the baton handed off.

This rhythm continued for six hours and as the course closed at 4 p.m., we each completed four full laps totalling 37.2 miles. Results were later posted and we grumbled about the sloppy record keeping, but we did have an unofficial podium finish--we took the bronze medal by polishing off a 12 pack which deducted 24 minutes off our finish time.

It was a good deal to get 5k trail intervals done with friends. And, the real kicker? It was a first to receive a reward for drinking beer. We'll be back!