Broken

Beside you, our connection was virtually telepathic. We need not waste words since we could share an entire conversation without making a sound.  Time spent together was never taken for granted, it was simply sequential pieces along the timeline of life that we enjoyed being side by side.  The thought of you not being around was too distant, too far-fetched, too ridiculous. But, it happened.
It's been awhile since saying goodbye, but it still sharply slices at me like it was this morning. A piece of me literally died that day. As for the old adage of, "Time heals all wounds," I say bullshit. I do believe time heals most wounds, but not something as severe as when my heart fractured with pieces free falling into a dark, bottomless abyss.  

Even though you're not around, there's not a day that passes where I don't see your face and think about you. Some days spark memories that stretch a wide grin across my face while on other days, I'm still torn to pieces. Your presence was all comforting. Your presence was reassuring. Your presence was calming. In your presence, I felt balanced. And together, we brought out the best in one another. I really miss that!

Memories...thank goodness for them.

On sporadic early mornings, I'm a living example of a completely complicated hypocrisy. While in the foggy state just prior to being fully awake, I sense a warm visceral glow and catch my lips fixed in a big smile. For that brief instant, my brain recalls the recent dream where your presence caused my physical reactions. Upon reaching full consciousness, the content of the dream is forever forgotten.  But, the day starts with the warm glow that inevitably duels with my bleeding heart.

I don't foresee any magical elixir or ointment to heal my oozing wound. But, in order to experience such absolute devastation, something as special as what we had must be shared.  Few are blessed with such an experience and I am grateful how this common person was allowed such grandeur. 

Despite the blackness, the hurt, the pain...it was more than worth it. 

I loved you then, I love you still, always have and always will.  And, I look forward to being with you again, someday.