Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Moustache Unplugged #21

hehehe....undetected, I grab the opportunity to work on my letter....

Dear Mountain Bike Riders,

Like any population, there's good, bad and average with the focus of this letter directed to the entitled buttwipe bikers who disregard the sense of maintaining a true singletrack and feel it's their right to customize trails to better match their pathetic skill set.  Plus, this same group quizzically challenges who has the right of way with other trail users and I'm reaching the point of jabbing a stick in the front spokes and folding over in laughter while witnessing the spectacular end-over crash.

What in the world is The Moustache bitchin' about? 



A picture is worth a thousand words.  Can you see the well worn path in the middle? That was the original singletrack. Add years of use and mix in disrespectful mountain bikers who, God forbid, refuse to bounce over the angled water dump and decide it's alright to go around the end of it.  Not only does the new path widen the trail to dimensions suitable for the landing of 747s, but the new path eventually cuts deep enough where water then goes around the end of the board and returns right back onto the trail!  With water returning to the trail, erosion cuts it deeper causing park supervisors to get their panties in a wad where knee-jerk reactions shut down portions of my mistress to repair or re-route a section. 

Hmm...what's the solution?  Entitled mountain bikers need to focus on the single track frame of mind or, The Moustache enters into the equation.  Big rocks, branches and trees are dragged from the surrounding slopes to create mountainbike barriers.  In the above photo, The Moustache diverted distracted mountainbikers to stay on track via stacking rocks and topping them off with an old tree stump.  Switchback turns throughout my mistress have similar barriers and in one area of multiple hairpin turns, war has been waged. 



Several mountain bikers like to bank high on a curve, badly scarring my mistress and causing it to widen nearly large enough for tractor-trailers to make u-turns.  She does not deserve such treatment. The Moustache has covered the well worn embankment with forest products only to later discover the barriers tossed down over the mountainside.  Well guess what?  My whiskers twitch as I drag all the crap back up and add more to the mix.  This process has been repeated many times as I've met good adversaries.  This will continue with bigger and better barriers added to each cycle until my stubborness brings a victory for mother nature.

It's not a big deal to leave a minimal footprint on the trail, or for that matter, in life.

Just stay on track!

Oh, I almost forgot. Bike riders, regardless of going up or down, are supposed to yield to hikers, runners and horses. More often than not, bike whiz by and I cringe as it's just a matter of time before Mr. Entitled has a handgrip snag the cord leashed to my earbuds that will forcefully be yanked from my head.  Blinded by fury is my forecasted response...

Let's respect the trail, and one another.

Thanks for listening,
The Moustache

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