hehehe....undetected, I seize the moment to work on a letter...
Dear Mindless Dog Hiker,
As I closed the distance catching up to you on the single track trail, I noticed your bounding dog frantically dashing around like a fly trapped inside of a window. No leash? I guess that explains the neon yellow doggie vest so you can spot him up to a mile away. Suddenly, his goofy brain focused on me and he transformed from a buzzing fly and into a charging bull.
As he hit top speed, his bobbing head flashed bright white teeth during his rampaging approach. I became a statue and heard your feeble attempts to recall your dog.
"Elmer? Here! Come here!" weakly fell from your lips. His ears didn't even twitch.
Elmer charged harder and I prepared to do something I hoped to never have to do...intentionally hurting a dog. But, there is no way an ill-behaved dog will interfere in my life by making me a chew toy.
I braced as Elmer skidded to a stop in the dirt at my feet. His meat-head and cinder block build showcased his pit bull bloodlines, a breed that I just happen to admire. White strings of slobber had slung criss-cross over his broad face while glazed and unfocused eyes told me he was just mindless with excitement while sprinting dipshit crazy on the mountain. He turned and blitzed back to you and I noticed another one of his problems, his manhood.
"You going to breed him?" I asked with a wrinkled brow hoping to suggest neutering ASAP might be worthy of some type of award.
"Um, probably not," you answered. "I just haven't made the time to get it done."
Irresponsible people with dogs...can't stand them. Periodically, dogs are seen in the news making bad press due to violent attacks. Yes, a particular breed is often blamed and I don't blame the breed, I blame the people responsible for the animal(s).
Here's a newsflash: You are responsible for Elmer's actions! Other trail users in my situation may have panicked and unconsciously elicited an attack and I can already hear your pathetic excuse of, "I never would have thought he'd do that! He's never shown any signs like that before..."
Bullshit.
Don't blame him! Look in the mirror on where to direct the blame. You are well aware of his shortcomings and it is paramount for you to train and correct them or at least be smart enough to never put him in a situation that may lead to a tragic ending.
Plus, pet overpopulation is a serious problem that is heartbreaking. Elmer has no business passing on his genes, so take care of it!
It's strictly up to you.
The Moustache
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