Warning Labels

While leaning on a shovel, I squint to read some fine print on the sidewall of the tiny wheelbarrow tire.  "Warning: Not intended for highway use."  Bummer, after I was done, I was going to use duct tape and baling wire to attach it on the back of the car and use it as a trailer to help a friend move. 

What other ridiculous warning labels can I find?  "Do not attempt to stop blade with your hand," was in my chainsaw's manuel.  Whew, glad they warned me.  "Do not drive with sunshield in place," was printed on my accordian-folded cardboard dash protector.  Really?  But I like driving by feel.  I venture inside the house.  "For external use only," was found on the label of my wife's curling iron and I won't even speculate what prompted that warning. 

I went to the cupboard and grabbed drinking glasses to search for the ultimate insult towards humanity.  I was disappointed not to see a label in the bottom of the glasses that read, "Warning: User must swallow to avoid drowning."

Warning labels.  So often ignored by the conscientious consumer that they are often unheeded.  Such was the case as a teenager.